It is
night-time, a man is hunched, walking and scanning the floor. He has
a small, dirty brown bucket.
JULES: Hmm,
mmm.
He picks
something off the floor and drops it into the bucket.
JULES: What
beautiful, wonderful specimens. Oh, look here!
He rushes
to the other side of the stage and picks up something else, admires
it in his hand and carefully places it in the bucket.
JULES: Oh,
how lovely. Slimy, hmm.
He licks
his lips.
GICQUEL
enters stage right, he has a flash-light and is dressed in a railway
workers uniform. He watches JULES. JULES shuffles across the stage
and picks up another.
GICQUEL
clears his throat. JULES is startled.
JULES: Oh,
my! Oh, hello there young man, what a wonderful night for a stroll
don't you think?
GICQUEL:
I'm... not sure you're meant to be in here. It's not open to the
public.
JULES: Oh, I
wouldn't worry about that my boy. Us gentlemen can enjoy a nights
stroll on an evening with such sweet charms can we not? With such
wonderful sweet charms.
GICQUEL:
I'm... I'm with the railway, I'm meant to be guarding the tracks, I
think you need to leave.
JULES: Oh,
nonsense, nonsense. Come, come, see these wonderful specimens, these
wonderful slimy treats.
He
gestures for GICQUEL to come closer.
JULES: Oh,
don't be shy my boy, don't be so silly, come here and see my treats,
look into my wonderful bucket.
GICQUEL
comes closer, he looks into the bucket.
GICQUEL:
There's lots of snails.
JULES: Yes,
wonderful snails. Don't you love the way the wriggle and slime? Isn't
it just a wonder of nature, and oh the smell. The wonderful smell of
stinky snails, in my lovely snails bucket. Would you like to hold
one?
GICQUEL:
Look sir, I really think you ought to leave.
JULES: Come
on my boy! Hold one of my sweet snails in your dainty manly palm.
GICQUEL: No.
It's time for you to leave, this is... private property.
JULES: Just
a little touch. Come, they're so smooth and squidgy, fluffy even.
Come, let me put my snail on your cheek.
GICQUEL: Hmm
JULES: On
your palm then. Here, hold your hand out... There we are my wonderful
boy, not so difficult now was it?
CURTAIN
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